Kid count and family health

My attempts at researching how media representations of large families impact society -- like whether "Kids by the Dozen" makes more families think in double digits when it comes to kid count or whether Brangelina implicitly encourages couples to think beyond the standard family of four -- came to a grinding halt this morning when I uncovered a series of provocative articles on two disparate topics, the first of which I'll touch on here today.

[As a side note: there appears, after my very cursory web scouring, to be more research on family representations in the media -- mostly on alternative families: single parents, gay parents, etc. -- done in England than in the United States. The one study I found on family representations in the media here had to do with how Buffy the Vampire Slayer is "an example of popular culture that explores both the advantages and dangers of non-normative family forms, specifically the non-genetic or 'chosen' family.'" It's an interesting topic, but a little off-base for my kid counting calling. I'm going to keep searching, and try to find some experts to weigh in (even if they haven't done the exact related research), but in the meantime, let me get back to the relevant findings.]

Perhaps I should just let the headlines do the talking: "New Study Shows Family Size Affects the Development of Stomach Cancer," "Family size, environment increase Alzheimer's risk, study says," "Family Size Tied to Brain Tumors, Study Suggests," "Family Size Begets Parent Size," and "Asthma Prevalence, Family Size, and Birth Order."

Yeesh. Population control proponents should seize hold of this combined data and craft a searing portrait of the big family. As a mild hypochondriac, I could easily see such a portrait scaring me into curbing my kid cravings after my second child is born next month. Of course, I haven't yet given a close enough read to any of these studies to know how exactly they define family size (among other mitigating factors). For example, at what kid count do you start predisposing your offspring to have stomach cancer and brain tumors? It's a valid question.

Once I can print out all the articles and give them a responsible read I'll try to respond to this query and others with a summary of the facts, though I can say at first glance it appears the only positive spin on big families gleaned from this collection is that if you have more children, they will be less likely to have asthma. This, actually, is the most compelling reason for me to keep having kids, since both Chris and I were plagued with childhood asthma and Ben spent the better part of this past weekend battling bouts of wheezing tempered by his good ole nebulizer. I guess the real question is: at what point can I safely stop having children -- beautiful, cherub-like children who will remember me in old age and not compromise my thin figure -- and guarantee that none of them will have to carry an inhaler to track practice?

That's the magic kid count I'm looking for.